Better in their words…

C&C ARMY BRIEFING — IRAN WAR UPDATE

You couldn’t make 2026 up. Behold, this morning the New York Times ran a frontpage story headlined, “Iran Unable to Find Mines It Planted in Strait of Hormuz, U.S. Says.” Honey! Where did I put my mines? The sub-headline explained, “The lost mines have prevented Iran from quickly complying with President Trump’s demand to allow more ships to pass through the waterway.” It’s only going to hurt for a very long time.

It’s no secret that for weeks I have suggested the Trump Administration might not actually want to re-open the Strait very quickly. Recently, other commenters have begun to suspect the same thing. A closed Strait hurts Asia and Europe, but promotes US oil and natural gas sales, and all right at a critical inflection point in the historic AI arms race, which demands energyabove all.

On Wednesday, commenting on the new cease-fire arrangement, Iranian foreign minister Abbas Araghchi, said that the strait would be open to traffic “with due consideration of technical limitations.” At the time, nobody noticed those two weasel words. But now, ‘technical limitations’ is obviously a euphemism for, we forgot where we left our high explosives. Sorry. Not our fault.

According to the Times, during the conflict, Iran used swarms of small boats to mine the Strait. Apparently, it never wrote down where it left them. Worse, some of them are drifting around the Strait like chocolate nuggets floating in the public pool. “As with land mines,” the Times dryly explained, “removing nautical mines is far more difficult than placing them.” Well, duh. Further complicating this already troubling scenario, “the U.S. military lacks robustmine removal capabilities.”

Our mine-clearing capabilities are “not robust.” We’d love to get those mines out of there for you, but we just don’t have the right gear. It’s on order. Meanwhile, all we have is this cordless metal detector and a couple reusable Aldi bags.

It’s a double sandbag! Despite everyone’s good intentions, the Strait must remain closed. The Iranians are sandbagging by claiming “technical limitations” qua bad memory. President Trump is also sandbagging. He can say he would happily de-mine the Strait if he could, but what can he do? Minesweeper is no longer supported on the App Store. In other words, it won’t happen overnight. Please be patient while sweeping is in progress. Sorry about that energy crisis.

This morning, after I’d already drafted this segment, President Trump tweeted words confirming the thesis. Behold:

“We’ve now started the process of clearing (mines) out (of) the Strait of Hormuz as a favor to Countries all over the World,” the President said. Clearing them slowly. Now consider his very next sentence: “Very interestingly, however, empty Oil carrying ships from many Nations are all heading to the United States of America to LOAD UP with Oil.” In other words, the US benefits from the mines. It couldn’t be clearer.

But it’s terrible for the fair-weather allies in Europe.

🚀 In an April 8th article, JustSecurity reported, “The head of the International Energy Agency has described the blockade as more consequential than the disruptions of 1973, 1979, and 2022 combined. The disruptions have cascaded well beyond energy markets: fertilizer shipments are blocked, food insecurity concerns are mounting, and aluminum and helium markets have been severely affected.” In Europe and Asia, that is.

Meanwhile, Europe’s leadership and its best policy minds have held a series of emergency meetings to discuss how best to respond to the continent’s crisis, and whether or not to send their own ships to aid the reopening effort (not). But the emergency deliberations swiftly ran aground when delegates fiercely debated over whether lunch should be gluten-free, and which of 24 languages the bratwurst order should be placed in.

In a joint meeting with Vice President JD Vance in Budapest (who was heading to Iranian peace negotiations in Pakistan), Hungarian president Viktor Orban called it potentially the most serious energy crisis in history:

It’s not a very good time to lose track of the mines and also refuse to help find them. Spain is reportedly “wooing” China (which has no spare oil). In Germany this week, gas at the pump was running around $10/gallon, or $250 to fill a 25-gallon tank. So. Carry on, amigos.

🌍🇺🇸 ESSENTIAL NEWS AND COMMENTARY🇺🇸🌍

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Blue on blue! You’re going to love the dot-connecting on this story, which is potentially much more important than yet another feminist Democrat now imploding for being a predatory pervert. The Wall Street Journal reported, “Democrats Pressure Swalwell to Exit California Governor’s Race After Allegations.” Get under the bus, Eric!

Proving the Wall Street Journal’s point, far-left Politico reported, “Swalwell campaign imploding after new sexual assault allegation.” Politico isn’t wrong. Fang Fang is no longer Eric’s most throbbing problem. But let’s review the stakes.

Pandemic queen Gavin Newsom is running out of runway. His gubernatorial term is colliding with term limits and will expire this year. You might say the Viagra is wearing off. California’s “jungle primary” system has created an unexpected artifact: there are so many candidates that the two leading candidates may both be Republicans. After the open primary, only the two top candidates proceed to the general election.

So a hideous possibility for Democrats has emerged. They face a potential gubernatorial election in which their only choices will be Republicans. Polls vary, but both Republican candidates are strong, Steve Hilton (17%) and Sheriff Chad Bianco (14%), meaning Dems can’t really even game the system by voting for the RINO. Chinese-spy-dating Eric Swallow-well is in third place (14% or 12.2%, depending on poll), and staff-bullying harridan and failed Senatorial candidate Katie Porter is running fourth (9.2%).

Here’s the thing. If either Swalwell or Porter dropped out, their supporters might shift to the leading Democrat candidate and jump into first place with a combined 21.4%. Following me? But so far, despite a frantic behind-the-scenes campaign, both Porter and Swalwell stiffened their resolve and stubbornly refused to compromise.

Then last week, the Trump team scratched Mr. Swalwell and a thin swirl of blood entered the water. A rare “leak” from the DOJ fueled breathless headlines that the FBI had allegedly reopened its investigation into Swalwell’s 2014 dalliance with Chinese spy Fang Fang. Headline from the New York Times, March 28th:

That, apparently, was all it took. The blue-finned sharks converged. This week, more old news emerged. In a matter of days, Swalwell swiftly encountered an engorged “me too” crisis. It erupted first in the far-left San Francisco Chronicle, which reported anonymously that a former 21-year-old staffer —who is married with three children— said Swalwell pursued her from the moment she was hired, sent her unsolicited snaps of his congressional uh, equipment via Snapchat, and sexually assaulted her twice while she was too intoxicated to consent.

The Chronicle corroborated the claims with contemporaneous medical records, proving that the media can do journalism when it wants to. In short order, CNN quickly followed with three more women describing similar misconduct, including more unsolicited pictures of Dick Nixon. “I was pushing him off of me, saying no,” one accuser told CNN. Politico revealed that a different former staffer had signed an NDA-like non-disparagement agreement in a prior settlement with Swalwell— strongly suggesting the Congressman’s legacy of abuse was long known in Democrat circles.

(In an almost incomprehensibly stupid move, Swalwell’s campaign told reporters just days earlier that there had “never been an NDA and never been a settlement.” Politico whipped out the settlement document the same afternoon.)

Within hours, the dominoes began toppling like a line of kick-dancing drag queens: two campaign co-chairs resigned, Democrat heavyweight Nancy Pelosi —who defended Swalwell for over a decade during the entire Fang Fang fiasco— called the allegations “indefensible” and told Eric to quit. Adam Schiff un-endorsed him, the California Teachers’ Association suspended its backing, and prediction markets cratered Swalwell’s odds to win from 67% to 17% faster than you can say “trouser snake.” Calmatters, yesterday:

🔥 Ironically, but unsurprisingly, a central theme of Swalwell’s campaign messaging has been that he has “always stood up for women’s rights” and “always protected women,” positioning himself as the firmest defender of women and gender equality. But now he’s an antihero starring in Fang Fang 3: the NDA Strikes Back.

Even Gavin Newsom piled on. “As we continue to learn more, these allegations from multiple sources are deeply troubling and must be taken seriously.” Believe all women! I would love to know what encrypted messaging platform the Democrats use to send out the signal to attack the leading Democrat candidate. Those chat logs would sure be fun to browse.

In a single news cycle, the Democratic front-runner for governor of the nation’s largest state went from measuring the drapes in Sacramento to measuring the distance to the nearest unemployment office.

Tanking Swalwell on purpose is a terrific risk for the Democrats. If Swalwell’s supporters are fleeing, and if they don’t couple with Katie Porter, then the Republicans will be even better able to smother the general election. The Chronicle quoted Anti-Trump Republican strategist Mike Madrid, who opined, “It’s still early, but the real irony is that this could be enough to put the Republican versus Republican scenario back in play.”

I don’t know how early it is. California’s jungle primary occurs on June 2nd— less than two months away.

Adding to the Democrats’ performance failures, Eric already conceded his seven-term House seat to run for Governor. So Democrats are yeeting a long-time teflon Congressman as well. As for Porter, she sacrificed her safe House seat in 2024 to run for Senate—and lost in the jungle primary, coming in third. Now, media just titles her as a “law professor.”

Don’t miss where this all started. None of the claims are new. Eric Swalwell’s long-avoided me-too problem originated in last week’s anonymous announcement that the FBI might be bringing Chinese spies to the party. The Democrats took it from there.

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In another quick report on some great MAHA news, yesterday, Reuters blandly reported “Trump nominates former Ohio solicitor general, Sullivan & Cromwell lawyer to US appeals courts.” The story was about two solid conservative nominations to the powerful US Circuits Court of Appeal, which was good enough. But one of the two —former Ohio Solicitor General Benjamin Flowers, 39— successfully prosecuted the Supreme Court case overthrowing Biden’s OSHA vaccine mandate.

Reuters reported that, after he left the Solicitor General’s office, Ben “has continued to champion conservative legal causes in private practice.” He recently filed an amicus brief supporting President Trump’s executive order to end birthright citizenship, for example.

Huzza! This is how the slow progress of justice works. Biden’s jabby overreach created conservative superstars. Now they are trickling up into powerful judicial positions. The wheel turns.

The Circuit Courts of Appeal are arguably more powerful than SCOTUS — the Supreme Court only hears around 80 cases in a normal year. The Circuits are the final stop for almost everyone else— thousands of cases. It is criticalfor appellate judges to be smart and follow the law.

There’s a lot of grumbling in the MAHA movement’s shadows that President Trump isn’t actually opposed to mandatory vaccination and still loves his covid jabs. Well, if so, an appointment like Ben Flowers’ is a strange way of showing it.

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In another sign of MAHA progress, the Wall Street Journal ran an eye-opening story headlined, “How Chronic Disease Became the Biggest Scourge in American Health.” Of course, no one reading this Substack is confused on the point. But corporate media has coolly ignored it harder than a teenager overlooking a chore chart taped to the refrigerator door. Such as the fact that, despite spending more on healthcare than any other country (or maybe because of that fact), Americans die years younger than the rest:

“Americans die earlier and are sicker than people in other high-income countries,” Dr. Steven Woolf, a life-expectancy researcher, said. “This has been true for a long time, and the trend is getting worse.”

Coincidentally, a 1995 CDC review noted that the childhood schedule had “rapidly expanded” since passage of liability protections for vaccine manufacturers in the mid-1980s, to accommodate more universally recommended vaccines. It is widely acknowledged that the CDC’s recommended jab schedule swelled from ~24 doses of 4 vaccines in 1983 to ~88 doses of 16 vaccines by 2023. But never mind.

Indeed, for nearly every major cause of death, the United States leads the world. It’s not an equity problem. Even “the wealthiest Americans still had mortality rates comparable to the poorest Northern and Western Europeans”:

The Journal published these deplorable figures, but of course it leaned into the tried-and-true narrative of blaming the victim. “In the U.S., people get less exercise,” the Journal insisted. Our “diet is heavy in sugars, processed meat, and unhealthy fats.” And we “consume more ultra-processed foods.” We’re just lazy, gluttonous, and don’t take care of ourselves, according to ‘experts.’ In other words, there is no way it could be related to any kind of environmental factor.

It is also worth mentioning that a 2023 BMJ Quality & Safety paper estimated that in the U.S., about 371,000 deaths annually are linked to diagnostic erroracross all care settings, with roughly 795,000 serious harms (death or serious disability) arising from misdiagnosis. Whoops! Sorry about that!

The saving grace, which I reported in Monday’s special edition, is that America’s chronic pharmacological health model is poised to become obsolete, thanks to a tsunami of disruptive technologies aimed at cures rather than lifelong maintenance treatments— the regime we’ve all grown up with. In the current model —the only one we’ve ever known— you see your doctor for heartburn and get put on a daily PPI pill. A few months later, you go in for new-onset afib, and you get daily heart medicine. Then you go in because your hair started falling out in clumps, and you get a daily pill for that, too.

This next period will be critical. We must survive the acquisition wars, as trad-pharma tries to buy up and smother all these new disruptive technologies. It’ll be bloody. But for once, we have the right people guarding the regulatory henhouse. Stay optimistic. It could be the dawn of a golden era of health, and it’s starting right here, in the country scraping the bottom of the health statistics barrel.

Have a wonderful weekend! Do your own sweeping, then get back here promptly on Monday morning, for more essential news, dot-connecting, and color commentary.

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